Vertigo
by MyBeautifulDisgrace
Summary: When Edward leaves Bella, she is sad and alone. But what if he never left, he just hid from her. Bella thinks about their relationship.She tries to change what happened, but knows she really can't. So what happens now?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first Twilight story, I hope you guys like it! I sadly don't own Twilight *cries*.

This is about what Bella thought when Edward first left. Reviews are really really appreciated. Enjoy!

I was left cold. He left me. He didn't want me. No, not anymore. My body collapsed to the floor, cold and lifeless. I couldn't speak, couldn't think, I had lost the one thing that truly mattered; the one thing I loved more then anything else, Edward.

Somehow I knew it would happen, I was never good enough for him. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough...no, I never was. I'd deceived myself, lied, over and over again, bleeding the lines of reality, so that I could believe he could ever love me, ever love someone like me, he was perfect, so why would he deal with anyone less.

I store up at the sky, not knowing how much time had past. It was dark, even though when we met it was dawn. The time had past, the clouds turned to stars, yet nothing changed, it never would, not without Edward. Sure time would go on, times would change, lives would change, and along with it the people, but I wouldn't. I'd lost all passion for life. I would never have a breath as sweet a moment so pure, as it was when I was with him. Nothing could ever be the same. Nothing ever will be.

Without Edward, I was dead.

The time had passed, yet still no sign of him, no change, no stir. It was if I had lost everything from a dream fairy tale, only this time it wasn't a dream, not even like those dreams I had when I first met Edward, it was empty, dead. Only this time, it was worse. There was no way this could be a dream, not even a nightmare. It was to real. Every pain, every feeling, every detail, was so real. Paining everything, not even the sweet memories were good anymore. I had lost even that. There was nothing I could take solice in, nowhere I could run, no one I could turn to. The world cut me out and locked it's doors, leaving me in the dark cold. It was so dark. So empty, that there was nothing that I could even feel, nothing that existed anymore, only the dull cold.

"Bella, Bella are you there?" I heard a mans voice, but I couldn't respond, even if I wanted to, it wasn't the voice of the one I loved, it wasn't of the voice of my everything, it wasn't the voice of him. Edward.

Even his name seemed so distant to me now.

"Bella? Bella ? Bella!" Still nothing, no matter how much I stirred, my body wouldn't move, my voice wouldn't sound.

"Bella!" An old man came running toward me. He grabbed me, holding me tight. Even though he seemed so weak, he carried on, holding me the whole way.

"Charlie! Charlie! I've found her!"

"Bella!" Charlie came running toward me. "Put her down, we'll get her home." He spoke to the man with instruction, worry, and relif. His emotions were to troubled and complex. He was so worried that I was sick, but could not hide the relif that I was here. His emotions dissied me.

"Bella, are you okay?"

My voice tried to reasure him with all I had, but noting, I had been scared, and lost. I was hurt. "He's gone." It was all I could say, all I could think, it was all I had. I tried so hard, but I had nothing, I was fighting back all the tears I could. Losing my mind, the world turning into a flood.

"Shhh. It's okay, I know."

The world turned into a dark, cloudy, haze. Leaving me to drown in my sorrow, and sink within the tears of my heart. I had lost the last of me, there was nothing left to cry out, even though I couldn't stop. The world slipped away, I fell unconscious, leaving the world behind in the darkness.

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My sleep was restless, I could only repeat the memory of the past few hours, nothing else existed. Only him leaving me. I didn't know what to do, where to go. I was cold, so much, that ice burned against my skin. He left me, and I was empty. A tear escaped my eyes, the only thing left to do.

I tossed and turned, nothing changed, the memory stayed the same. I thought if I replayed it over and over, it would change, but it wouldn't. I thought if I could fight back, it would go away. But it doesn't.

I thought of what I could do to stop this, but there was nothing. My mind kept going back to when me and Jacob were kids. There was this cliff we used to play on, Charlie always said it was dangerous, but let us play anyway. I remembered the sharp rocks below, covered by the crashing waves. I had to jump, that was the only way to get him back.

My mind traced back and forth, from him to my plan, within my dreams. I didn't realize that I spoke in my sleep before I met Edward. I opened my eyes to see a shadowy figure, he looked so much like Edward.

"Don't do anything reckless, Bella."

He disappeared, I really thought it was him, but I must have been dreaming.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, so I wrote the first chapter for this awhile ago (I think its been almost a year), and I intended to just leave it as a one-shot. I totally forgot I wrote a second chapter. So anyways, long story short, I stumbled upon it on my computer today. Sorry if it sounds bad or something. I wrote this a _long _time ago. Tell me what you guys think, and if you want me to continue it. Thanks! :)

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It must have been a dream. It was too good to be real.

**Edward's POV**

I jumped out of the window before she was awake. Still, the only thought in my mind was her painstaking face. The look she had, every tiny detail of her face, crushed, hurt, because of me. I couldn't hurt her like this. But I couldn't let her be in danger again.

I was the real danger. The thing that would kill her.

No matter how hard I tried to stop it.

**Bella's POV**

I woke from my treacherous illusions, it was morning, the rain silently falling against my window. I couldn't move. It hurt to much. On days like these, Edward would come over, like he always did. But it was different, we would be happier, like there was nothing wrong in the world. Those days stopped once we met Laurent. Once I got caught.

It was those stupid emotions, the feeling that I could change something, that tore me away from Edward. If I was a vampire, Edward would still love me.

I guess in a way, I always knew this would happen. I was never good enough for him, never would be. I was tall, and gangly. I was too pale, even for the taste of vampires. And my eyes were dull and lifeless. Even more now that Edward took away the one thing that mattered most to me, him. And now, I would never be able to breath again.

The last words he ever said to me resounded in my head. Don't be reckless Bella. Don't be reckless.

I got up, finding the power in my diluted conscious, doing the one thing he told me not to. Something Reckless.

**Jacob's POV**

It was raining, cold and damp. Not what you would picture a perfect beach side property, but whatever, I was happy. I just got the part I needed for my car, and dad wasn't riding my back. I heard someone drive up.

Bella!

I ran to the door before composing myself, and calmly walking out.

"Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah." Her head was down, hiding from the rain.

I led her to the porch. She lifted her head.

Her eyes were dark, with black circles around them, and tear stained. She looked hurt and mangled. Like she had lost everything she had, and the last person she knew abandoned her. I wanted to reach out to her and grab her so badly, but I couldn't.

Luckily, she spoke before I could say something.

"Hey, can you help me with something."

"Uh, yeah, sure Bells, what?"

"Motorcycles."

As soon as she said that I snapped back into car mode. I knew exactly what each one of them needed, and how to do it. And if she needed help, I would definitely be there. She was beautiful, even in her pale, lifeless, eyes. She was full of sorrow, and I could see that. But I vowed, somehow, I would make her feel better. I would love her, and she would love me.

It was two hours before she had to leave. We talked, and made plans for tomorrow. But it was all lifeless, her voice monotone, and eyes apathetic. But she would get better. I know she would. I would make her. _Somehow. _


	3. Chapter 3

**Bella's POV**

I made plans with Jake. The same routine everyday, school, Jake, home, repeat. I was tired of living like a shell. I used to pride myself on never letting a guy get to close, oh how the mighty have fallen. The only thing keeping me sane is Jake, and I'm to afraid to get close to him. He's the only reason I'm not numb. Part of me wonders if everything would be better if I just slipped away for a bit. Maybe Phoenix would be good for me, and for everyone else. I'd stop tying Jake down, I'm sure he doesn't want a project right now.

Right now, I'm more vampire than human. I've forgotten how to live. Something about smiling, cherishing the sunlight, and laughing, lost me a long time ago. I have to find it again. Not just for myself, but for everyone around me. I'm not sure what Charlie will think, but he knows I'll be back. I'm not done with this place yet. Not because of Edward, but because of me. One day, I'll walk in the sun with someone, and not be afraid of being discovered.

Humanity's always there, somewhere deep, I'm sure even vampires have it, its just a matter of finding it. Somehow, I've been consumed by darkness, and forgotten how to laugh and how to smile. That can't be me anymore, I need to become Bella again. My phone ringed.

"Hey Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to go, Charlie's calling. See ya tomorrow."

"See ya tomorrow." He hugged me, he was warm.

I picked up the phone and walked to my car.

"Hey kid, when are you coming home?"

"I'm on my way now, dad."

"Oh, good." He never was good at showing emotion. I decided to wait to tell him my plans.

Once I got home I made Charlie dinner, and told him I wanted to go to Phoenix. I told him it was just over the summer, and he was surprisingly really good with it. He knew I was hurt, the worst thing is I didn't even realize he knew. I knew I needed to fix things. I would be leaving in three weeks, the end of Junior year, and I would return a totally different person; but first I had to mend the life I already had.

"Hey Jess." This one would be hard.

"Bella?"

"Yeah..."

"Bella? Isabella Swan? This is the right one right?"

"Yeah, Jess. I'm so sorry I haven't called in forever, hard breakup you know. Ugh, _guys._" Talking to Jessica tip one, talk about guys, tip two, mention shopping.

"Ugh, _I know. _So what's up?" She was cheery, my plan worked.

"So I'm going to Phoenix in three weeks, shopping trip?"

"Omg, for sure!"

It wasn't great, but it was a start. In three weeks, I'll be home.

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Boring Author's Note Stuff...  
Hey guys! So I've decided to keep going with this story (yay!) Anyways, sorry I didn't update sooner, I promise I'll get better at that. I wrote this really fast, so if you guys notice any mistakes, please let me know. :) Oh, by the way the rest of the story will be in Bella's point of view, and I won't write about her time in Phoenix really (unless you guys want me to) I just wanted to use it to help the plot, but the next chapter will probably be set there. And I think thats it... Thanks for reading love you guys!


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note: **Hey! So...sorry I haven't updated this in well...ever. xD Anyways, yesterday it was annoying me how it wasn't finished, so I decided to write this :). I didn't have a lot of time but I really wanted to get this up, so let me know if there's any errors. Thanks for reading!

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The plane landed in Forks, after a summer away life seemed so different. Different as it may be I still loved it here. As soon as the wheels hit the ground I got up, practically running off the plane.  
"Bella!" Jacob waited for me at the airport.

"Jake!"

"How was it?" He took my bags.

"Wait, Jake, there's something I have to do first." I pressed my lips to his.

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75 Years Later

I sat on my front porch, watching the rain slowly fall to the ground. I understood why Charlie lived here now; it was so calm, peaceful. A sudden blur reached my doorstep.

"Bella."

"Edward." I whispered, extending my hand out to him. "Last time I saw you, I was young." I touched his face, forgetting how cold it was. "So many things have changed."

There was a small pause, I was older than Edward by many years, but younger in so many ways.

"Do you regret it?" I asked, "Not tasting my blood?"

"No," he smiled, "if I ever did, I would have to turn you into a vampire, and this," he stroked my face, "is so much better." He stood up.

"Last time you left me I was seventeen, and it broke my heart until I realized I didn't need to fix it." My weary eyes met his, and he walked away. "I never stopped loving you, you know. I just learned to love myself." I breathed. "Edward, can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything."

"Take this." I handed him an old and wrinkled piece of paper. "I love you." I hugged him.

I slowly walked into my house, thinking of the memories and long lost, bringing a small smile to my face. "Goodbye, Edward Cullen." I walked in, looking at all the old pictures, knowing that he made them possible.

Edward unfolded the piece of paper; it was a picture of them in the field, when they were young. He smiled, still as much in love with her now as he was then. "Goodbye Isabella Swan." He slowly turned and walked away, knowing that this was the last time he would ever see her.

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**The End.**

Thanks for reading!


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